Don Cherry Trenchcoat

I bought a godawful trenchcoat yesterday, having convinced myself that I need a trenchcoat to travel. I'm travelling tomorrow, by the way. The trenchcoat is....think Don Cherry. I bought it yesterday because 1) it was cheap, 2) the saleswoman gave me 20% off because of a missing button (an extra button was in the pocket) 3) I convinced myself that it was a 'happy', 'cheerful' trenchcoat (which should set off alarm bells...). I got it home, put it on, and decided it had to go back to the store. I located the receipt. The receipt said, "Final sale. Exchange only within 15 days of purchase". I went back to the store. The saleswoman said, "It's a final sale because I knocked off 20%. No exchange." I showed her the receipt, blah, blah, blah. She finally, grudgingly said, "OK". So, I looked around the store and found nothing I wanted or needed. In fact, I concluded that I disliked the whole store. Then, I tried on the godawful trenchcoat again, and realized it was the best thing in the store. So, I went back to the woman. Blah blah blah. Then, she said, "I'm going to have to take your receipt away because you can't have an exchange next time." I was too defeated and f-ed up about the cheap, shitty-looking trenchcoat I was walking away with to argue with her.
But, hello! Bad business practice, no? When people exchange things, they usually end up spending more. They also feel better about the store. I'm never going back there.
Meanwhile, I'm walking around looking like Don Cherry.

How to Sell Something to Aggie

1) Display things beautifully.
2) Have an uncrowded store.
3) Hire impeccably polite and adorable Asian men who don't do the hard sell, but gently flirt with customers.
4) Offer a "free" gift if a certain amount is spent.
5) Flog your wares as Canadian-made (even if they are only designed in Canada and made in China).

Wow, there are actually 5 things this time! I walked away from this store quite a bit poorer yesterday, convincing myself that a good purse is an "investment", and pleased with myself for "winning" a new beautiful canvas gym bag, valued at $50. Ahhh, global capitalism. It works on me like a charm.

Music for the Long Weekend

Here is some inspirational music for the long weekend. I heard this 60's band, the Honeycombs, on a CBC thing on Friday evening and I thought they kicked ass. Apparently, their producer, Joe Meek, stuck a microphone under his front steps and got them to stomp to get the banging effect. The female drummer is very cool. I would like to dress like her and be like her.

I still have a lot to learn

*I don't know how to remove bubble gum from a leather purse strap and clothing.

*I didn't know that it was still possible to lose a document on the computer. I assumed there were enough back-ups: the "do you want to save?" questions, the auto-saves, the temp files, etc... But, no. It is still possible to actually lose a half a day's work. Gone. Zap. Fuck. And, yes, I called the technical guy, and he said, "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you lost it!"

There are a whole lot of other things I don't know, too.

Mother's Day

My dear mother sent me this email yesterday explaining the origin of Mother's Day.

Do you remember the origin of Mother's Day? Our friend, REDACTED, was pastor in Grafton, West Virginia. A Methodist woman started it there in her church in the early 1900s. Evidently she was a real bitch and not nice at all to her mother. She felt guilty after her mother died, so she started mother's day. Evidently there is a shrine to mothers in Grafton. Love from your sainted Mother.

Bless her, I think she is letting me off the hook for not sending a card. I do plan to give her a ring later...
Did you people know that Mother's Day was started by a real bitch who was not nice to her mother?

Bursting at the seams

I have not been blogging, in case you noticed. But I'm doing ok, in case you care. In fact, I am chock full of creativity right now, and am bursting my seams with ideas:

1) 4 book ideas. The first three could be books or could be magazine pieces, and they are in the Do-It-Yourself genre. The fourth idea involves diagrams and is more of self-help kind of deal.

2) 1 massive art project. I need a photographer (Coyote?), a painter, or some other kind of art person, and a short story writer. My team has not yet been assembled, but I'm sure with the IDEA I have, we can get massive funding to pull this thing off.

I would love to tell you more, but aren't you supposed to keep ideas secret? Or, are you supposed to tell all the world, so that you are more likely to actually realize them?

Extreme Crafting

My apologies for the lack of posting. And, sorry for not updating the Bakelite story. Soon the sordid secrets of Della's blog will be revealed.
I am all relaxed and happy, just coming off an extreme crafting/retreat weekend during which I made my first quilt. Pictures will follow. I also made a naughty French maid apron and a cushion. Also did lots of clothing reconstruction. The naughty French maid apron was made from a curtain valance.