Looks like we made it....

No I'm not referring to the Barry Manilow song. I'm talking about February. We made it through February, folks. Things are looking up. Here are a list of things to look forward to in March:

1) longer days
2) thawing freezing then more thawing
3) snowing raining snowing freezing rain
4) St. Patrick's Day: drunken oafs on Elgin street.
5) more slush
6) dog poop surfacing
7) horniness
8) warmth
9) more birds
10) the end of March

Back

Hi everyone. I'm back. Did you notice I was away? I was in Florida. At a conference. I know, I know...a conference that just happened to be at Clearwater Beach, Florida -- in February. I would have wanted to go even if it were in Winnipeg. Not!

Here are some random discoveries I made on my trip:

1) I met an autistic dog.
2) I saw a mother and baby dolphin jumping in unison.
3) You can get a really really sharp seashell through security, but they'll take your tweezers.
4) Florida is foreclosure hell right now and Floridians are scared shitless about the economy, even ones driving BMWs.
5) There is no fifth.

Witness

Winter Break-ups

OK. Here's a nice pre-Valentine's Day topic: winter break-ups. Lately, I've heard about what seems like a lot of folks either separating or in the palliative care stage of the relationship. When I hear about this, I think to myself, "Wow, these folks managed to muster up the energy to break up during a long, cold, Ottawa winter...with the bus strike and everything!" I have a lot of admiration for these people because, despite all these obstacles, they have the energy and the courage to make a move, throw themselves into transition, uncertainty, grief, etc...Kudos to all of you for breaking up right now! I know there is the well-documentedFish or Cut Bait Day, but, even so...breaking up in winter is damn hard. I couldn't do it. I'll hunker down in any old crappy relationship just to survive the damn winter.
So, to all you winter break-up folks, screw Valentine's Day! My roses go to you.

Houseguests, crap, continued...

A small turd was discovered on the floor by the door. And someone stepped in it. So, it was a small smushed turd. Again, not sure which cat is protesting. Perhaps both.
I'm a barely-standing-ragdoll now, washing sheets and towels, in preparation for two, no, three more sets of houseguests. Then, I leave town on Sunday and will be a houseguest myself for a couple of days.
Here are some tips on how to be a stellar houseguest:
1) don't complain
2) say thank you
3) use only one towel
4) bring food and drink if possible
5) don't start drinking before noon
6) take a nap, a walk, or read sometimes
7) take care of your needs
8) help clean up
9) bring a present
10) be nice

Do you have other tips?

Houseguests and Crap

Something must be going on in the universe this weekend. Mercury must be out of retrograde. Or Venus is trining Uranus. Our place is crawling with houseguests. I'm hauling every camping mattress I can find out the basement, and clearing floor surfaces, trying to figure out where I can lay people out.
In the midst of this houseguest deluge, and while dischevelled man was giving our first round of guests a house tour, there was a shocking discovery: one of our cats CRAPPED right in the middle of a bed. We're not sure which cat did it. But the large amount of crap suggests that it was the adult cat. I'm not sure why he would do this. Some possible theories here:

1) The cat is freaked out about the number of people coming in.
2) The cat is finally trying to tell us that he is not happy about the arrival of Ti-gris.
3) The cat was sick, and just had a once-in-lifetime unfortunate accident.
4) The cat is trying to tell us that he hates us.
5) It wasn't the cat at all, but one of the houseguests.

Lying for the Story

A work friend today told me that she believes that an extremely high-ranking person (EHRP) in our organization lies regularly during her public addresses because she needs a good story. According to my work friend, she tells witty lies for the purpose of entertaining her underlings. When my work friend mentioned this today, it rang true. It rang true because EHRP's stories don't really ring true. The reason they don't ring true is because in these stories, EHRP just happens to be present when a famous person is around and she just happens to witness the famous person saying or doing something witty. So, there is name-dropping going on, too. I was so distracted by the name-dropping, that I didn't notice the lying. But when the lying was pointed out to me, I got it. There is no word for name-dropping and lying at the same time, is there?

I'm in love with Robin

I love a lot of bloggers out there, but this week I have to say kudos to Robin whose work is consistently beautiful. This photo brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could write a poem, an ode to this piece. Thank you, Robin, for showing us the beauty in slush.