Swine Flu Hysteria

I get scared easily. When the guy cut off the guy's head on the bus, I got scared that my head was going to get cut off the next time I took a bus. When that guy killed himself with a Q-tip, I thought I was going to kill myself with a Q-tip. I'm also scared shitless of Swine Flu. Just the sound of it scares me. Pigs. Flu. Pig flu. Holy fuck! And now it's at a Level 5... how many levels are there, anyway? My institution tells me it is prepared, but are they really? I know the wankers in charge of these things and they don't know their asses from their elbows.

Next week I have an appointment with a young woman who will have just arrived from a vacation in Mexico. She's IN Mexico right now. I am already trying to figure out how I can keep her away from me, and away from everyone in my workplace. She needs to stay the fuck away! I don't want her to see that I am completely nuts over here, but I really, seriously want her away!

I am beginning to see that this hysteria I am experiencing runs in my family. I received this email today from a very close relative:

"As soon as I press Send to forward you this email, I'm off with the aforementioned check lists in hand to buy what's needed to top up and my emergency supplies kit. Even though I've recently read that face masks are little help in protecting us from breathing-in the tiny virus germs, I also will buy -- and use -- a box of face masks. At the very least, wearing a mask in crowded places may help keep me from unconsciously touching my nose and mouth, and rubbing my eyes -- the surest way to get whatever is going around."

Random thoughts at the end of April

The contest seems to be going ok over at the ESI blog with three strong entries. However, I'm a little disappointed in the number of entries. The ESIs are OUT, it seems. Or, perhaps we're so OUT, we're IN. Or, maybe we are just on our way IN after being OUT. I'm going to call an Emergency Meeting in the next days to determine a winner.

The leaves busted out today in fresh fuzzy green. This made me happy.

Blogger news: Zoom is writing great stuff over on Knitnut and winning prizes while she's at it. Jo S. has made a big move and is still managing to cook up a storm. I want Woodsy to come back.

Is anyone out there afraid of Swine flu? Swine flu is "grippe porcine" in French, which sounds a lot sexier.

My obsession with WordTwist, Scramble and House M.D. are on the wane leaving more space in my life for other pursuits such as sewing projects with vintage sheets, writing stories, gardening, and meditation.

Had a great birthday in which I received fabulous gifts including a state-of-the-art seam ripper, a Sex Pistols T-shirt, long black gloves, a tiny clutch purse to wear to the opera, an original painting with skulls on it, and a beach bag.

Things that seem to be IN, but I wish would go OUT....

- skinny jeans
- shameless texting everywhere
- rich people "worrying" about how the economic downturn will affect them.
- people taking out their families and themselves in response to the economic downturn.
- no longer giving a shit about the environment because of the economic downturn.
- anxiety disorders
- sleep disorders
- hackneyed "change management" language
- the focus on Michelle Obama's pipes
- microfibres
- Bristol Palin's ex, Levi

Part 3: In and Out

IN

being "between jobs"
coffee of all sorts: free, quality, crappy
radio
free events or free passes
mental health days
Buddhism
crankiness

OUT

golf
email jokes
fruit teas
Christianity
work team-building exercises
self-help literature
having a positive attitude

More Ins and Outs

IN

herb gardens
having zero or one kid
David Scrimshaw
Jo Stockton's amazing food blog
Omega 3s
magic bags
knick knacks
spring

OUT

winter
scrapbooking
Lululemon
colds
restaurant meals
expensive anti-aging creams
environmentally unfriendly kitty litter
whinging

Aggie's - What's IN and OUT list

What’s IN?

-gardening
-Value Village shopping
-binge drinking
-drugs
-doing art
-using work benefits to the max (mental, dental, massages, etc… while we still have them!)
-twittering
-fruit pies
-meditation
-reading
-walking
-manicures and pedicures
-cats
-road trips
-manners
-Jian Ghomeshi
-Astronaut Love Triangle
-spontaneity
-quilts
-obsessive-compulsive disorder

What’s OUT

-veganism
-yoga
-Facebook
-blogging
-TV
-dogs
-workaholism
-power dressing
-marriage
-home ownership
-air travel
-rudeness
-all Canadian politicians
-self-referential wanking
-Susan Boyle (already!)
-attention-deficit disorder
-assholes
-fleece anything
-jogging along the Rideau Canal

I forgot I had a blog

Sorry for not posting. I temporarily forgot I had a blog or 3. I have Emergency Meeting Minutes to post up on the Flagship Blog. Stay tuned. I have a nearly finished quilt and needlepoint pin cushions to post on the crafting blog. There's not much action over there right now, but that's not entirely my fault, since it is group blog.
In other news, do we really believe any of the Boxcutters has the flu?
In other news, my little gray cat fetches like a dog. Stay tuned for a delightful youtube video.

XUP is a genius

XUP is a genius. We should all be listening to this woman. EVERYTHING she suggested to me for the proper care and maintenance of my elderly guests was BANG ON: the sweets, the sweet alcohol, the eating routine, the video rentals, the activities. Because she was so helpful in her comments on my blog, I consulted her privately and asked her about restaurants. She suggested HOTELS and BUFFETS. We went to the buffet at this rotating restaurant and it was huge hit. These folks will be talking about this "moving house" for the rest of their days.

We did make a few errors:

1) We deviated from XUP's advice not to serve up anything "exotic". I served up unpeeled potatoes one evening, and that was met with quiet disdain.
2) We served lunch (which is actually a hot dinner) about an hour too late, and that caused blood sugar and tummy problems. It also upset the schedule for the next meal, causing some distress.
3) We should have rented a car. The two-door is dangerous for seniors because of the dangling front seat belt which can trip you up. Seniors sometimes don't listen well when you say, "Please wait until I'm standing over there to help you out." We had one down on the sidewalk (unharmed, fortunately), and another nearly down.

But overall, the visit was a great success. Thanks, XUP!