Going Off Facebook

Zoom's delightful reruns made me take a look at what I was doing at this time last year. Tiana also does this on her blog (Congratulations, by the way, Tiana! Nice little fellow you got there).
Last year at this time I was just becoming a Facebook user and even had a mission statement worked out for myself. My year on Facebook has left me unsatisfied. Here are some reasons I'm going to go off Facebook:

1) I'm addicted to Scrabulous in a sick kind of way and could basically spend my whole life playing it if I let myself.
2) I've stopped caring about accumulating celebrity "friends". Friending up with these people has gotten me nothing!
3) Reconnecting with some people from my past has brought out some negative feelings in me: jealousy, regret, resentment. Instead of expressing these emotions, I have to write superficial things on their "walls" like, "Oh, I'm so happy for you, living in your beautiful space with your beautiful wife with your Canada Council grant and your gigantic studio and your insanely successful career"...
4) I've discovered that Facebook is a lazy man's pick-up joint. Facebook flirting is lame, lame. Lazy. Get off your ass, fellows! Go to a bar and flirt there!
5) Fun Walls are not fun. Fuck fun walls.
6) I don't want to look at people's family photo albums.
7) I end up in conversations with people on Facebook who would never normally send me an email or contact me. What's wrong with some boundaries? No, I don't want to catch up with my childhood classmate who has become born-again and hopes to save me via Facebook.
8) I have run out of witty things to say on my "status" line.
9) I don't ever want to be superpoked again.
10) Did I mention the Scrabulous addiction?

Here is a question for y'all: How do I gracefully remove myself from Facebook? Or, should I just rip myself off, like a bandaid?

I know I'm boring you with all the Facebook crap, but....

Joel Plaskett is now my friend. Snooty Sarah Harmer is not.

Post Facebook Rejection and Meditations on Bluesfest

I'm still wounded from all the celebrities who have rejected me on Facebook. Oh well. At least, Justin Trudeau is still my friend. He is at home right now, by the way, in case you were wondering. Yesterday, to make myself feel better from all the rejection, I decided to spend the afternoon watching Wimbleton and Under-20-year olds playing soccer at Irene's with a pretty hardcore group of drinkers. Then, I went out on the street, thinking I could buy a cheap ticket to see the Under-20-year-olds play soccer in person. Wrong. $100 a ticket. Then, I went to the Bluesfest and heard George Thorogood do his BBBBBad song and some Chinese DJ kid who uses a flipchart as part of his schtick. Today, I have a kind of hit-by-a-truck feeling which I attribute to 1) rejection 2) alcohol 3) bar food 4) the Bluesfest.
I don't like the new Bluesfest. It feels too big and overwhelming. I can't walk there easily. It's spread out all over the place. I did love the Bob Dylan show, even though I barely saw him, and, as one Facebooker noted, he looked like he had to pee badly as he squirmed around behind the little keyboard. I guess he wasn't very nice, not even participating in the Blues in the Schools program thingy, but I don't care. I love him. I love Bob, but am not happy with the Bluesfest this year.

Desperately Seeking Desperate Celebrities

Here is a conversation I had today on Facebook:

Me: I tried to friend up with Rick Mercer, but I think he rejected me.

My Facebook Friend: He has very particular tastes, apparement. Try Jian Ghomeshi or someone desperate like that.

Me: Yes, I guess I'll have to just settle for the desperate celebrity-types

Facebook Celebrity Friend

Justin Trudeau and I are now friends.

Facebook Mission Statement

Today at a delightful Canada Day brunch, I was asked what my Facebook goals were. I realized that I completely lacked any kind of vision or direction for my activities on Facebook. So, I have done some reflecting on the matter, and here is my mission statement:

I will use Facebook for the purpose of understanding it as a medium for human communication, as a lazy person's pick-up tool, as a creepy mechanism for activating one's inner voyeur. While examining these facets of Facebook, I intend to accumulate as many celebrity friends as I can; to download as many inane applications as I can find; and, to avoid addictive Facebook behaviours.

Why Facebook is the devil's tool...

1) Facebook creates false intimacy with people who are not your real friends. People who would never have the balls to send you an email feel free to facebook you shamelessly throughout the work day.
2) Facebook generates social anxiety.
3) Facebook allows people who are not clear on boundaries to spew their crap out for all the world to see. A further note on this one--- At least a blog allows a certain depth. Facebook users, on the other hand, can spew out only the thinnest veneer of crap. This is because Facebook has the depth of toddler wading pool before the water's been put in. (Apologies for the crap/toddler imagery).
4) Facebook is highly addictive, particularly for the OCD types. I'm sure it will soon be banned from all workplaces.
5) There is no fifth reason.

On a more positive note, I just love the Facebook status profile feature. I think it's the best part of the whole fucking interface.