Intruder scare

This morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. from another one of my twisted dreams, and was convinced there was an intruder in the place. I can be very country bumpkin-ish about leaving doors unlocked or open, so I assumed someone had just walked in off the street. My first response was to turn on the bedside light because I had heard somewhere that that can scare someone off. I then put on my pants. I didn't like the idea of fighting off an intruder without proper ass-covering. I then ran for the phone and was poised to dial 911. I slithered around, back to the wall, turning on lights, until I was convinced that there was no one there. Meanwhile my cat remained in deep slumber. Finally, I managed to go back to sleep for a couple of more hours, and woke up in my pants, drooling on the phone.