I read somewhere that February 3rd is "Fish or Cut Bait Day", that dangerous period between New Year's and Valentine's Day. Perhaps it was posted on the ESI blog. Anyway, I have noted a number of relationships around me in crisis. I had lunch just today with a couple in crisis. When I asked how they were doing, she said, "He is in crisis." He agreed. He said he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life, or even who he wanted to spend his life with. He said he was having a midlife crisis. He looked genuinely distressed. When I left, I wished him good luck with his crisis. He said, "Thanks. I'm not sure where it's going to go." I said, "Maybe it will take you where you need to go." (How New Agey of me!) He said, "Hopefully not into a wall." Then we laughed. Crises can be funny.
He is someone I feel might benefit from a good crisis--a happy bappy fellow who annoyed me at times with all his positive energy. I even wondered what my interesting and depressive friend was doing with him at times.** I'm not sure what will happen with this couple, or my other couple friends who are struggling in the early February danger zone.
Aggie's advice for couples in the danger zone: Whatever you do, don't rent "Scenes from a Marriage" - an Ingrid Bergman film. If you are teetering on the edge of breakup, this film will punt you right over the finish line. (Sorry about the mixed metaphors there).
**Anything that could be deemed metablogging is purely coincidental.
2 comments:
I'd have to agree that when you are sitting right next to your partner, and admit you're not sure who you'd like to spend the rest of your time with, that's a bit of a couple crisis. On the other hand, I do greatly admire his forthrightness. I've been with men who were in crises, and just never admitted it. It therefore came as a rude surprise when I discovered that indeed, I was not the one they wanted to spend the rest of their time with.
But Aggie, you aren't admitting of much intimacy here. What of your coupleness? How are you getting along with that presumably handsome, well-bandaged fellow I see you strolling with?
We are doing fine because we both suffer from intimacy issues. Two negatives = positive. We may even weather this year's Fish or Cut Bait Day!
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