Here are some tips for surviving the winter that just won't quit.
1) Medicate yourself with whatever you need. Don't try to be stoic. Take the edge off, folks.
2) Do some shopping. Buy some cheap rubber boots for the meltdown that is coming. Buy a tank top, crank the heat, and walk around in your place. Buy books and music. Play the music loud. This is no time for moderation.
3) Take advantage of the longer days. Take long walks after work and walk really fast. Feel the spring fever that is starting to hit. Wear all the usual layers so you won't get pissed off in the middle of the walk.
4) Cook really elaborate meals and drink and rant about hockey violence while cooking. Pretend you are Italian.
5) Do something spontaneous that you haven't dared to do: buy a new pet, move in with someone, leave someone, get a Brazilian wax, take up snowboarding.
6) Learn to knit baby booties in gender neutral colours. The Knitnut told me that you can make them in one sitting. There are a lot of babies born in the spring.
7) Buy a beret and pretend you are a Parisienne. Adopt the attitude.
8) Go to a hair salon, ask for something modern and see what you end up with.
9) Go out and buy a chocolate Easter bunny on sale and eat it right out on the street while you are doing #3.
10) There is no tenth thing.
18 comments:
Excellent Advice. I'm a little too chicken s*&^ for number 8. :S
You make it sound so fun. How about flirting with strangers? Or is this just a waste of time? There has to be some edgy romantic thing to aspire to that doesn't depend on someone else's active participation (because we all know you can't necessarily depend on that).
You know who I am...
Thanks for stopping by! Yes, flirting with strangers -- definitely. I find that works better in Montreal than Ottawa, though. People are more receptive to that kind of thing here. In Ottawa, you might need to be more in your face. You could try sticking your tongue out at someone to get his attention, or accidentally kick him in the shins.
"edgy romantic"..."doesn't depend on someone else's active participation". Venus Envy (Lisgar and Bank) is coming to mind. That should have been on the list.
How are you doing?
Brilliant list Aggie. I myself am self-medicating, knitting the booties, and buying the rubber boots, while giving serious thought to #4 and #5 and Venus Envy. By the way, I went for a massage last Thursday, and I recommend it absolutely to anyone suffering from seasonal malaise.
Don't even think about getting that big bunny, Zoom. Big bunny acquisitions are NOT on this list.
Where are the cutest boots, girls?
I don't think I'm up to Venus Envy. I've become asexual. Contemplating flirting is about all I can do, and that's pushing it. So, that's how I am. The aftermath, it isn't pretty.
Boots might help.
Speaking of aftermath, is there any such thing as a promath?
If this is true ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aftermath, then I'm not sure what promath might mean. The calm before the storm or . . . the events leading up to the catastrophe . . . something like that?
#1
Check!
Then, what is a premath?
Anonymous-- Conch Shell and I are here drinking wine and mulling this over. Conch Shell suggests getting some highlights. Let's face it, this winter has brought asexuality to the forefront for a lot of us.
I like the flirting idea. It's playful. It's fun. It's free. And, you can deny its existence if you need to. Conch Shell disagrees with my boots idea, and is suggesting you go directly into sandals.
Would you like a mojo kit?
A mojo kit? That would be lovely!!!
I know Zoom got one and it sounded grand.
I'll keep my eye out for sandals, but I think I'll need a pedicure first. Winter feet, blah.
I paint my toenails a new and exciting color to ease out of winter and into spring... #10 works for me too... (ohhhh, do click on my name to see this springs' toes)
We could have a billy-boot-and-toenail painting party.
girlz
several comments:
I'm too chickenshit for number 5. Mystery haircut is nothing compared to waxing. OUch.
Montreal is the best place for boots.
Flirting is more fun if it's mutual.
We could have a field trip to Montreal to shop for boots, speak bizarre French in the hopes of being mistaken for a Parisienne and eat bunnies on the street.
Oh, and the 10th thing has to be rising from the dead. That's get the juices flowing every time.
Eating bunnies? Did you say eating bunnies?!
The first thing I did this morning on seeing the snow falling yet again was saddle up and go on a search for the PERFECT pair of rubber boots. Boots are IT! I got them at Fritz's in New Minas Nova Scotia in case anyone wants to go on a road trip. That store is a CURE for March malaise - they sell LEATHER HEEL SOCK SAVERS for handknit socks for God's sake! It carries everything you never knew you needed!
I've done 8. The haircutter's face lit up. He had fun.
2's my best pick for tomorrow.
Aggie!!!
I had to come back to tell you the boots worked!!!!
I posted photographic evidence at my blog.
Post a Comment