More Ins and Outs

IN

herb gardens
having zero or one kid
David Scrimshaw
Jo Stockton's amazing food blog
Omega 3s
magic bags
knick knacks
spring

OUT

winter
scrapbooking
Lululemon
colds
restaurant meals
expensive anti-aging creams
environmentally unfriendly kitty litter
whinging

Aggie's - What's IN and OUT list

What’s IN?

-gardening
-Value Village shopping
-binge drinking
-drugs
-doing art
-using work benefits to the max (mental, dental, massages, etc… while we still have them!)
-twittering
-fruit pies
-meditation
-reading
-walking
-manicures and pedicures
-cats
-road trips
-manners
-Jian Ghomeshi
-Astronaut Love Triangle
-spontaneity
-quilts
-obsessive-compulsive disorder

What’s OUT

-veganism
-yoga
-Facebook
-blogging
-TV
-dogs
-workaholism
-power dressing
-marriage
-home ownership
-air travel
-rudeness
-all Canadian politicians
-self-referential wanking
-Susan Boyle (already!)
-attention-deficit disorder
-assholes
-fleece anything
-jogging along the Rideau Canal

I forgot I had a blog

Sorry for not posting. I temporarily forgot I had a blog or 3. I have Emergency Meeting Minutes to post up on the Flagship Blog. Stay tuned. I have a nearly finished quilt and needlepoint pin cushions to post on the crafting blog. There's not much action over there right now, but that's not entirely my fault, since it is group blog.
In other news, do we really believe any of the Boxcutters has the flu?
In other news, my little gray cat fetches like a dog. Stay tuned for a delightful youtube video.

XUP is a genius

XUP is a genius. We should all be listening to this woman. EVERYTHING she suggested to me for the proper care and maintenance of my elderly guests was BANG ON: the sweets, the sweet alcohol, the eating routine, the video rentals, the activities. Because she was so helpful in her comments on my blog, I consulted her privately and asked her about restaurants. She suggested HOTELS and BUFFETS. We went to the buffet at this rotating restaurant and it was huge hit. These folks will be talking about this "moving house" for the rest of their days.

We did make a few errors:

1) We deviated from XUP's advice not to serve up anything "exotic". I served up unpeeled potatoes one evening, and that was met with quiet disdain.
2) We served lunch (which is actually a hot dinner) about an hour too late, and that caused blood sugar and tummy problems. It also upset the schedule for the next meal, causing some distress.
3) We should have rented a car. The two-door is dangerous for seniors because of the dangling front seat belt which can trip you up. Seniors sometimes don't listen well when you say, "Please wait until I'm standing over there to help you out." We had one down on the sidewalk (unharmed, fortunately), and another nearly down.

But overall, the visit was a great success. Thanks, XUP!

Getting ready for Old People

Thanks to XUP, who is an expert on old people, I am ready to receive my elderly guests. Here are some preparations I've made:

1) I have ordered DVDs, including "the Best of the Price is Right" and "America's Funniest Home Videos". "Three's Company" (Season 2) is also on the way.

2) I am bringing lots of sweets into the home. If I have time, I'm going to make a pan of squares. Old people like squares.

3) I bought a bottle of Bailey's, and have my own bottle of Port, which I'm willing to share.

4) I have remedies for stomach ailments or discomfort of any kind.

5) I have magic bags.

6) I have crosswords.

7) I am ready to talk loudly and listen for hours to stories about the old days.

8) I have a few Ottawa tourist pamphlets ready in case people feel like doing some light sightseeing.

Am I forgetting anything here? I feel prepared. I really do. Thanks, all of you --especially XUP !--for your suggestions.

Random thoughts at the end of March

I'm having real trouble blogging these days. Things are grim with all the cutting, downsizing, adjusting...It's also the end of March, and we're about to head into the "cruellest month" which hopefully will turn out to be kinder than March.
Some random thoughts on what's going on over here:

My job currently feels like a cartoon. I will not say more about this, except that -- Cartoons can be funny. Cartoons can be annoying. Cartoons can be extreme. People can get hurt in cartoons. Watching too many cartoons on a Saturday morning can leave you cranky for the rest of the day. Enough said. Who can afford to get dooced in our current climate?

Thanks to XUP, I'm ready for the old folks who will be visiting next week. I decided against getting cable, and am going to follow XUP's advice and getting DVDs of old TV shows. XUP is a genius.

The tofu folks inspired me to have more vegetarian dinners. When I served up a delightful tofu dinner to Dischevelled Man, he defrosted meatballs to put on top. He may have to be the next contestant for the tofu challenge.

I was supposed to attend a sock monkey workshop this afternoon at Raw Sugar, but decided to sit on my porch in the sun and read the paper and a New Yorker instead.

I'm back to seeing my Chinese doctor. I'm taking pills for "deficiency of blood and energy, shrivelled complexion". Makes sense. I'm also taking Harp Seal Oil and getting regular acupunture treatments. Feeling better and less shrivelled already.

Ottawa for the Elderly

I have two wonderful elderly people coming into town from April 2 - 6th. They are delightful and I love them, but need some guidance on what to do. Here are some things I'm thinking of doing in preparation:
1) getting cable.
2) getting lots of food in.
3) cleaning up the clutter.
4) making magic bags.

But still, what to do when they get here besides eating and sitting around watching TV? Dischevelled man has suggested the War Museum and crafting shows/events. They are not big walkers and get tired. They've done the Parliament thing. They don't do board games. I'm open to suggestions here.

Alain Bashung, December 1, 1947 - March 14, 2009

Alain Bashung, one of France's great singer/songwriters just died at the age of 61. I discovered Bashung a few years ago through dischevelled man, and immediately fell in love with him. He is Elvis, Buddy Holly, Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen, all in one beautiful French package. Bashung was touring right up until the time he died of lung cancer. I was hoping to get a chance to see him. I have his latest CD, Bleu Petrole, which features the heartbreaking, "Resident de la Republique".

I'm a huge fan of Bashung's old stuff, too. If you want to buy one Bashung CD (besides his latest), I recommend "Osez Josephine". Here is a video of the title track. I'm playing it right now.

His first big hit, Gaby Oh! Gaby, will transport you back to the 80s.

Dischevelled Man and Gray Cats

Gray cats squinting

Portrait of Ti-Gris & dancing cats

Don't Lose the Run of Yourself

I have a great friend from the Ottawa Valley who described someone as "having lost the run of himself".... I love that expression and plan to start using it. I found it listed here in a Dublin slang dictionary, so I figure the expression goes back to sheep-herding in Ireland.
I've come in contact with a few folks lately who really have lost the run of themselves. It's not a pretty sight when one loses the run of oneself. I'm not talking about a touch of seasonal depression, a fit of nerves, or a moment of road rage. I'm talking about LOSING THE RUN OF YOURSELF. I'm talking -- sweetheart, you may need a couple of border collies biting your ass to get back the run of yourself.

Looks like we made it....

No I'm not referring to the Barry Manilow song. I'm talking about February. We made it through February, folks. Things are looking up. Here are a list of things to look forward to in March:

1) longer days
2) thawing freezing then more thawing
3) snowing raining snowing freezing rain
4) St. Patrick's Day: drunken oafs on Elgin street.
5) more slush
6) dog poop surfacing
7) horniness
8) warmth
9) more birds
10) the end of March

Back

Hi everyone. I'm back. Did you notice I was away? I was in Florida. At a conference. I know, I know...a conference that just happened to be at Clearwater Beach, Florida -- in February. I would have wanted to go even if it were in Winnipeg. Not!

Here are some random discoveries I made on my trip:

1) I met an autistic dog.
2) I saw a mother and baby dolphin jumping in unison.
3) You can get a really really sharp seashell through security, but they'll take your tweezers.
4) Florida is foreclosure hell right now and Floridians are scared shitless about the economy, even ones driving BMWs.
5) There is no fifth.

Witness

Winter Break-ups

OK. Here's a nice pre-Valentine's Day topic: winter break-ups. Lately, I've heard about what seems like a lot of folks either separating or in the palliative care stage of the relationship. When I hear about this, I think to myself, "Wow, these folks managed to muster up the energy to break up during a long, cold, Ottawa winter...with the bus strike and everything!" I have a lot of admiration for these people because, despite all these obstacles, they have the energy and the courage to make a move, throw themselves into transition, uncertainty, grief, etc...Kudos to all of you for breaking up right now! I know there is the well-documentedFish or Cut Bait Day, but, even so...breaking up in winter is damn hard. I couldn't do it. I'll hunker down in any old crappy relationship just to survive the damn winter.
So, to all you winter break-up folks, screw Valentine's Day! My roses go to you.

Houseguests, crap, continued...

A small turd was discovered on the floor by the door. And someone stepped in it. So, it was a small smushed turd. Again, not sure which cat is protesting. Perhaps both.
I'm a barely-standing-ragdoll now, washing sheets and towels, in preparation for two, no, three more sets of houseguests. Then, I leave town on Sunday and will be a houseguest myself for a couple of days.
Here are some tips on how to be a stellar houseguest:
1) don't complain
2) say thank you
3) use only one towel
4) bring food and drink if possible
5) don't start drinking before noon
6) take a nap, a walk, or read sometimes
7) take care of your needs
8) help clean up
9) bring a present
10) be nice

Do you have other tips?

Houseguests and Crap

Something must be going on in the universe this weekend. Mercury must be out of retrograde. Or Venus is trining Uranus. Our place is crawling with houseguests. I'm hauling every camping mattress I can find out the basement, and clearing floor surfaces, trying to figure out where I can lay people out.
In the midst of this houseguest deluge, and while dischevelled man was giving our first round of guests a house tour, there was a shocking discovery: one of our cats CRAPPED right in the middle of a bed. We're not sure which cat did it. But the large amount of crap suggests that it was the adult cat. I'm not sure why he would do this. Some possible theories here:

1) The cat is freaked out about the number of people coming in.
2) The cat is finally trying to tell us that he is not happy about the arrival of Ti-gris.
3) The cat was sick, and just had a once-in-lifetime unfortunate accident.
4) The cat is trying to tell us that he hates us.
5) It wasn't the cat at all, but one of the houseguests.

Lying for the Story

A work friend today told me that she believes that an extremely high-ranking person (EHRP) in our organization lies regularly during her public addresses because she needs a good story. According to my work friend, she tells witty lies for the purpose of entertaining her underlings. When my work friend mentioned this today, it rang true. It rang true because EHRP's stories don't really ring true. The reason they don't ring true is because in these stories, EHRP just happens to be present when a famous person is around and she just happens to witness the famous person saying or doing something witty. So, there is name-dropping going on, too. I was so distracted by the name-dropping, that I didn't notice the lying. But when the lying was pointed out to me, I got it. There is no word for name-dropping and lying at the same time, is there?

I'm in love with Robin

I love a lot of bloggers out there, but this week I have to say kudos to Robin whose work is consistently beautiful. This photo brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could write a poem, an ode to this piece. Thank you, Robin, for showing us the beauty in slush.