Chinese medicine for recovery

Today I bought a bunch of Chinese herbal remedies to help with the holiday recovery process and to raise my spirits. One is for 'tonifying blood'. This is what it says inside the package:
'These tablets have been proved remarkably effective in tonifying blood and energy, regulating Chong and Ren channels, nourishing the liver and kidney...They are recommend for deficiency of blood and energy, shrivelled complexion and neurasthenia in women.'
Not bad for $3.99.

Things I learned today

1) I do not have the liver I used to. Successive days of overeating and drinking have left me feeling more lethargic and melancholic than usual. Not a good thing. Slight reduction of alcohol consumption today seems to have helped. Perhaps I need to consider doing Bob's January Cleanse .
2) I can fix a toilet without calling a plumber. I didn't actually fix it myself, but I encouraged my waiter-friend to do so, and he did it successfully.
3) I can set a mousetrap without snapping it on my finger or maiming my cat.
4) I can blame my negative state of mind to all the recent deaths of important people: James Brown, Dutch Mason, Gerry Ford.
5) I can make a delightful dish with leftovers from the fridge. Sorry no photo. The main ingredient is a leftover ham I'd sooner never see again. Here is the recipe:
Leftover Ham Tex-Mex Delite
Cook some onions in a pan.
Throw in pieces of leftover ham
Dump a can of black beans in the pan.
Dump half a can of corn in the pan.
Serve on polenta.

Warning: There are problems with the Dolly Parton Dump Cake

I just had to bin the Dolly Parton Dump Cake. I discovered today on closer examination that there was an entire layer of powdery cake mix sitting at the bottom of the pan. It seems the liquid in the pie fillings was not enough to absorb all the powder.
Merry Christmas to all!

Another Recipe: Dolly Parton Dump Cake

I saw this recipe in a magazine called Real Simple, which is a kind Martha Stewart Living 4 Dummies. I have all the ingredients for this and will be making it today:

You need:
a box yellow cake mix
1 can of crushed pineapple
1 can cherry pie filling
1 can blueberry pie filling
1 stick of butter

Put the cake mix at the bottom of a greased/floured 9-by-13 cake pan. Pour the pineapple over the pan (with juice). Dump the can of cherry pie filling in, followed by the blueberry pie filling. Thinly slice 1 stick of butter and sprinkle slices over the other ingredients. Bake at 325 for 30 minutes.

Enjoy!

Christmas Baking, Aggie Style

Yesterday, I ran into a friend at the grocery. When she saw that I had flour, cocoa, and other baking goods in my cart, she said, "Aggie, I didn't think you were the baking type." I told her that I was trying to "Embrace Christmas, get intimate, and get zen about baking." She shook her head and walked away.

I will give you one Aggie-style Christmas recipe today, and another one tomorrow. The first one is a dessert I tasted years ago, made by a lovely friend from Rio de Janeiro who had no idea how to cook/bake or boil water. These delicious little balls are called brigadeiros. Please note that I forgot the word, brigadeiro, and had to google "chocolate balls brazilian". In addition to getting the brigadeiro recipe, I also got "Well-hung Brazilian boys". I don't recommend going there...

The recipe is dead simple: Dump one can of unsweetened condensed milk into a saucepan, toss in a couple of tablespoons of Nestle's Quick. Stir. Let it cool. Roll into balls. You can add decorations while rolling into balls if you'd like.

My New Favourite Place: OZ Kafe

The "Brilliant Plan" might be able to go - temporarily - to the back burner. Last evening, I discovered the OZ Kafe at 361 Elgin Street, hidden beside Pancho Villa Restaurant. Apparently, it's been there for 2 years, and I didn't know it existed. Here are some features of the place:
Atmosphere: Funky and cool.
Drinks: Some lovely cocktails on the menu, including a lychee martini! I ordered my usual, a cider, and was offered the choice of apple or pear.
Food: Exquisite. I ordered something called the Seoul Platter, which consisted of pieces of beef, some sesame-oil seasoned beansprouts and kimchi that you eat inside a lettuce leaf. Delicious! For dessert I had a piece of sweet potato cheesecake, which was better than life itself.
Servers: Very cute. There was one very charming young man in a jaunty bow tie. Someone informed me that he is one of the chefs.
Hours: You can apparently get food there into the wee hours. It's open until 2 a.m. They are not open during the day. Mondays they are closed, which would could make it difficult for our Monday emergency meetings.

Another Christmas Vignette: Cherubims

I remember being spooked by a Christmas hymn called Let all mortal flesh keep silence. This hymn spooked me because it was in a minor key, which my mother said made it beautiful. The hymn was utterly depressing to me in the midst of all the Christmas cheer: the church Christmas tree with homemade styrofoam ornaments made by the sunday school youth group; old ladies with their sparkly Christmas corsages; kids with sticky fingers sucking their candy canes to a lethal point; bald babies in velvet Christmas jumpers. Hearing this hymn gave me a sinking feeling. All the glitter of Christmas seemed in vain. From the first verse, this hymn left me with a great sense of fear and doom:
Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
and with fear and trembling stand;
ponder nothing earthly minded,
for with blessing in his hand
Christ our God to earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.

I objected to being called mortal flesh and being told to keep silent. I was sure I was pondering too many earthly minded things.

But the most disturbing part of the hymn came in the last verse:
At his feet the six-winged seraph;
cherubim with sleepless eye,
veil their faces to the Presence,
as with ceaseless voice they cry,
"Alleluia, alleluia!
Alleluia, Lord Most High!"

“Does that mean the cherubims don’t have eyelids?” I recall asking my mother. “That’s right, dear.” she answered, to my horror. The idea of these eyelidless winged creatures endlessly crying out was like a nightmare to me. I could not get this disturbing image out of my mind. I tried to tell myself, “Focus on the baby Jesus. Just focus on the baby. Don’t think about the cherubims.” I still have nightmares about them.

Megan Butcher's Blog is Fabulous

Megan Butcher's blog is an excellent read.
I enjoyed her posting today. She's edgy, she's cool, she's hilarious. And she's a sexpert and gives out very helpful advice, like below:

"Here's a hint: if you're going to chop thai chilis for a stirfry and then have your hands on someone's sensitive bits, you should probably wear gloves for at least one of those activities."

Two Annoyances Today

I know the topic of technology and rudeness is a tired one. Well, too fucking bad. You're going to hear about it more here!

Two annoyances today. The first one - An interaction with an underling who has not done the best job communicating with me and I told him so. I communicated this over the phone, while listening to the click click of his keyboard. When I asked a question, of course, he had to respond with, "Huh. Oh pardon me?" I said, "I can hear that you are busy with your typing, so I will let you go now, but in the future, please communicate blah blah blah blah." He said a feeble, "Sorry" and then hung up. Annoying little fledgling technocrat!

Second annoying interaction today. I called someone to arrange the time we are going to meet. In the midst of working out logistics, she rushes the conversation, saying, "I'm actually on the other line." I say, "Oh, why then did you pick up the phone?". There is a silence, followed by me saying "OK, then, Goodbye."

Future actions: If annoyance number #1 happens again, I'm going to just say, "I can hear that you are too busy to talk on the phone, so I will hang up now", and then just hang up. Same for the second annoyance, except that I will no longer say goodbye. Yes, I know, fighting rudeness with rudeness doesn't make sense. But, I don't give a rat's ass.

Conch Shell and I Have Brilliant Idea

We will be announcing this brilliant idea on the main ESI site, once everyone gets a chance to check out the Chair's brilliant transit ideas.
We will also be soliciting the Chair's powerpoint presentation expertise today, so that we can present this idea properly. Stay tuned.

Question for the ESI Legal Team

What happens when you discover a blank 2006 Census form when you are housecleaning? Should I recycle it, burn it, fill it out and try sending it now? Will they come and take me away, or give me a big fine?

Another Christmas Gift-giving Strategy

As you know, I am trying to avoid going into malls, which I think would be counterproductive to all the intimacy work I'm currently doing. This means I try to spend a lot of time in yoga studios. In fact, a great gift idea came to me at my yoga studio. If you are looking for an inexpensive gift for an adult, I recommend buying some frankincense and myrrh incense at $2.50 a package, and give it to your adult friend with a gold card application. To add another whole dimension to the gift, you could sing "We Three Kings" while giving the gift. Yet another option for the singing bit: you could change your voice while singing each verse, pretending that you have multiple personalities.

Message from my yoga teacher

Here it is folks, a message for you to meditate on today: "Send gratitude to those parts of your body where there is tension."

Perhaps the ESIs should adapt it to: "Send gratitude for symptoms of blog depression."

Ways that I'm working on the "Intimacy Challenge"

As some of you know, I'm on an Intimacy Challenge. I haven't blogged about it lately, but that doesn't mean things aren't happening. Here are some of the ways I'm working on intimacy, and things I'm doing to foster growth.
1) Going to yoga at least once every two weeks. In the past, I've gone out for drinks after my class with Conch Shell or others. These days, if I go out for a drink, it is just one drink. I'm no longer going for the post-yoga buzz. Don't ask me how this is working on intimacy. I just think it is.
2) I'm going back to see Olga, my personal trainer next week to discuss how I can be physically active during the winter months. Again, I'm not sure how this relates to intimacy, but I think it does.
3) I'm making casseroles, you know, the kind you dump a can of cream of mushroom soup into.
4) I'm trying to embrace Christmas, and will continue with the Vignette series.
5) I'm trying to work on my negative and nasty thoughts towards people who annoy me, by using the following mantras: "You being annoyed at her is likely reflecting an insecurity in you that you need to explore" or "This is a human being of this earth like you, and he can't help that he is a wanker." Thank goodness for mantras!

Short Christmas Vignette: Baby Jesus

Tyler was laid down in the manger as a baby Jesus in 1985. I was organizing the pageant that year. It was the first year we had a live Jesus. Shauna, his mother, volunteered 6-month old Tyler who was plump and placid -- one of those babies that never cried when passed around. Shauna and I agreed that he would be perfect. At first, Travis, Tyler’s father, didn’t think it was right to have his kid playing baby Jesus. “Isn’t that some kind of sin, like a graven image or something?” Without getting into the definition of a graven image, I directed Travis to the minister who assured him that his interpretation of the bible didn’t make putting little Tyler in the manger a sin, but that, in fact, we are all sinners anyway. This seemed to satisfy Travis, who agreed, and was the one to hand his son to Mary-Jo Cadieux, the gum-smacking Mary that year.

Tyler is all grown up now and I heard from Shauna that he spent time in the Kingclear Youth Detention Centre for pulling a knife on his Civics and Careers teacher. I don’t know where he is now.

Yet another use for binder clips

Please note: I'm aware that I'm not blogging about intimacy. This does not mean that I am no longer on the intimacy challenge journey...Let's just have a little break from that, ok?

As some of you bloggers may know, Mr. David Scrimshaw , apparently one of Ottawa's finest young bachelors (although I've never laid eyes on the man), has been blogging about uses for binder clips. My use for binder clips is holding the reindeer horns on one's cat for the holiday photo. My cat was not too impressed by this use of binder clips, but it did do the job. There was no cruelty to animals involved in this, by the way.

Mr. Scrimshaw's binder clip series did solicit some interesting - and pleasurably painful ideas - including one from the lovely Ms. Megan Butcher .

Blog idea for next posting: binder clips and intimacy?

Why Conch Shell Has Not Been Blogging

I had an intimate lunch today with Conch Shell to discuss her lack of blogging, but also assure her that she would never be kicked out of the ESI team.
Conch Shell informed that she has been busy saving the world. I asked her, "When did you have time to do that?" Her response was, "When I wasn't blogging"...
I think this means that we need to give Conch Shell a break and let her continue to do her important work.

Intimacy and Christmas

Christmas always poses a challenge for us child-free intimacy avoiders. This year - in an attempt to embrace Christmas and intimacy - I proposed to one of my waiter friends that I send out a photo to friends and family of my cat with reindeer antlers and me (in a Christmas sweater), and perhaps even HIM (also in a Christmas sweater). He was stunned that I proposed such a thing and said, "Aggie, I've never known you to be tacky. What's going on with you?" I responded that I was trying to embrace Christmas, my cat, and our relationship. He looked fearful. "But what's with the sweaters? Are you being ironic? Aren't you just making a mockery of the bourgeois pagan holiday that is Christmas?" I became tearful, and then he dismissed it as some kind female hormone problem.
Another obstacle to intimacy: When people come to know you as an intimacy-avoider, they just get confused when you say you want to pose with them in Christmas sweaters with a cat with reindeer antlers.
Yet another obstacle to intimacy: When people come to know you as an intimacy-avoider, they assume you are taking the piss out of things - ie. Christmas rituals - and are not serious about posing with them in Christmas sweaters with a cat with reindeer antlers.

Busy being intimate

I'm too busy with intimacy to blog. It's hard work, you know.

Experiment in Intimacy: Day 2

My body hurts today from the yoga. I did continue to feel the effects of the opening of the chakras, however. Yoga is definitely going to be an important part of this experiment/project/journey.

As I mentioned in an earlier comment, I am in the early stages of the journey here: packing the bag, or perhaps I should say, unpacking the baggage. To begin this process, I thought I would make a list of things that enable my avoidance of intimacy:
1) Metablogging. Metablogging allows for a glib, self-righteous distance (as some of our sisters in blogging pointed out). I now have my own blog - this one - which allows me to express my true feelings and as Dr. Phil would say "keep it real" or "get real" or whatever it is he says to that effect. I believe this realness (?), (or would that be,"reality") could lead to more intimacy. My concern is that I'm too post-modern for all of this reality.
2) The waiter fetish. I need to expand my interests beyond waiters who come and go through swing doors. I love waiters and double-action hinges. Sigh. This one will be difficult.
3) The Spider Solitaire addiction. There are worse and sexier addictions, I know, but I think that any addiction can impede intimacy.
4) My Essex background. I come from a long line of intimacy-avoiders.

There are more obstacles to intimacy, but let this be a start.