In Writing Hell

I am in the process of writing something - somewhat dull, but not totally - and am currently in writing hell. I have the outline. I know what I need to do to finish the stupid thing. I just need to do it. I have done everything to stimulate writing, including going here.
My existential crises, neuroticism, self doubts --- all of it is OUT in full bloom! I have promised myself that I will acquire a sewing machine if I can just get through this. Even that isn't helping matters.

Craft People are Nuts

Many craft people are absolutely fucking nuts. If they didn't have their crafts, they might be in institutions, which, I guess is where many craft people used to end up: in the basket weaving ward. I met an avid knitter yesterday, and realized that she was absolutely insane. She had about 6 knitting projects on the go. She had just spent $500 on Baby Alpaca yarn, which she insisted on sticking right in my face so that I could feel it. She couldn't stop talking about knitting. She started pulling out all of her knitting patterns to convince me to pick one. When I told her I was more interested in sewing at the moment, she led me to her $3000 Pfaff Sewing machine, which is currently collecting dust because of, well, all the knitting.
Some craft people go really really nuts and open up businesses to feed their particular crafty obsession. I met a woman like this who runs this spectacular button store. If you are looking for buttons, this is the place to go. She is nuts. A neighbourhood little girl came in when I was in the store to chat with the woman. After the kid left, the button lady said about the girl, 'I guess she is in love with me because I own a button store, and that must be pretty cool.' Yes, or maybe because you are nuts!

The Problem with Craft Magazines

I am a magazine consumer. Yesterday, I was pulled into Mags and Fags on Elgin Street, and immediately went to the craft magazine section. Now that I'm a craft blogger/person, I need to start reading this stuff. I was appalled at what I saw. Craft magazines are total shit -- unless perhaps I've missed one that is good. This is what I had to sort through:
1) the scrapbooking magazines. There are tons of these. I still don't understand what scrapbooking is, and why anyone would want to do it. Could someone please explain this to me.
2) the knitting magazines. Lovely, but, too hard. Winter would be over before you'd finish these things.
3) the quilting magazines. These were a HUGE disappointment to me! No, I don't want to quilt the American flag, thank you very much. And no, I don't want to quilt care bears, either.
Help! I'm looking for something fun, edgy, crafty with a bit of social commentary. Does such a craft magazine exist?

Yoga

I went to yoga today for the first time in about a year. I will not likely be able to move tomorrow. I bought a 5-class pass with the hope of getting back into it. I can't be bent over a sewing machine all the time. That is just not healthy.
What I enjoyed most about the class were the adjustments. I love adjustments! You know, when they come over and shove your hip in one direction and your shoulder in the other direction. Nice. I thanked my teacher (an adorable little poptart of a yogi) for every single one of his adjustments -- and there were a lot.
What I find amusing about yoga is the bizarre humour that is only funny to a few yoga freaks. At the beginning of the class, the teacher said something funny, and everyone laughed except me. The punchline was Vinyasa. I had forgotten what fucking Vinyasa was because I hadn't been to yoga for a while.
I followed up the yoga with a full Korean meal, and have had my head on my desk for most of the afternoon.

Angst

Some of my blogging friends have confessed that they are "having trouble with my shift into craft blogging." One friend even said to me just yesterday: "Bring the angst back. That's what we all love." I want to reassure you all that the angst is still here.
Here are some of the things causing me angst right now:

1) I don't have a sewing machine. I have been to stores, gone online, read consumer reports. Some say the Sears Kenmore (forget the number) is the best cheapest one you can get. Some say go to Walmart and pick up a Brothers for $100. Others say, whatever you do, go digital. Still other say, make sure it has a one-step button holer.

2) My travel plans for the winter are still fuzzy. I want to go somewhere warm, or at least warmer. Tickets need to be purchased.
Plans need to be made. I cannot seem to move ideas to reality at the moment.

3) Urban Pedestrian has asked me come up with 7 random things about myself, and it seems too hard to do. I am considering digging into my own archives and pulling them out there. That seems like a cop out, though.

4) I am jealous of so many other bloggers - especially CRAFT bloggers, people who can come up with a fun project from a set of burnt out lightbulbs. Or, ones who are just plain BRILLIANT. I am trying not to let my jealousy get the best of me. I'm working on this with the Buddhists.

5) There is no fifth thing at the moment.

Square

Here is a square I made using one of the silk pieces (I found in the garbage) as the ''cabin" in the centre. It is actually hanging the wrong way. Turn your head sideways to the right and it will be perfect.

Another use for binder clips: displaying finished quilt pieces.

A more traditional way of doing this would be to put darker fabrics on one side of the piece, to represent the shadier side of the house. I am currently experimenting with this.

Sewing machine update: the old one has been returned to the store, and I am ready to buy.

Score!

Ladies and gentlemen, I found this amazing thing in the garbage: fabric swatches, and enough fabric in three gorgeous colours to make a set of cushions. I looked at the label, and this stuff is 100% silk and from a very expensive fabric store in Westmount. The swatches are PERFECT for log cabin quilting. My plan now is to make a log cabin quilt using the swatches as the 'cabin'. I will show you an example of what this will look like in a future posting. Then, I will make a set of cushions to go with the log cabin quilt from the larger pieces of fabric. And, as if this find weren't enough, they are all neatly on a hanger for easy storage! Score!!

Craft mentors

I decided if I am going to make this transition into craft world, I need a guide. So far, I have a superb craft mentor named Serah Marie, a talented and energetic young woman, who is both textile artist and editor of Worn. She is a brilliant and inspirational teacher. She is good at teaching the technical aspects of sewing. But, like every good art teacher, she has her eye on the higher vision of artistic expression. During my log cabin quilting course, she described - with tears in her eyes - her own journey into textile art which began after a visit to the Whitney Museum in New York where she saw the Gees Bend Quilters. Serah Marie is a true artist. She does not believe in measuring - or only where it matters. That works well for me. She also encourages her students to be instinctive when grabbing fabrics for a quilt. ''Don't worry about matching", she says. "Sometimes surprising and interesting things come out of putting together things that don't look like they match.''

I hate my sewing machine

If I am going to be a legitimate crafty person, I need to have the right equipment. My $50 Salvation Army sewing maching is not cutting it. The machine is eating my fabric, and the thread tension dial is all fucked up. My new seam ripper, however, has been fabulous. My project? Reversible placemates with trim. Photos may appear later.

Finished Bag

This is how the finished bag looks, full of books and other stuff. This weekend, check in here for log cabin quilting and possibly embroidery.

being crafty

Now that this is a CRAFT blog, I will have to start linking to craft sites and taking stunning photographing of my projects at all stages. I am currently exploring other craft blogs out there which I will be linking to soon.
What I love about craft people are that they are so darn clever. If they appear a bit smug, they deserve to be! They can make a table runner out of a pair of dollar store sports socks. This is the kind of shit I want to do here, people! I want to be thrifty, clever, innovative, organized-- everything you have ever dreamed of in a craftsperson.

Occupational Therapy

Occupational Therapy refers to the use of meaningful occupation to assist people who have difficulty in achieving healthy and balanced lives; and to enable an inclusive society so that all people can participate to their potential in daily occupations of life. (Thank you, Wikipedia!)

I made a tote bag! This is the tote bag in progress. This is now officially a CRAFT BLOG, people. That's right. I am a craft person now.

Recovery Plan

If I were a more open and courageous blogger, I would disclose why I need a recovery plan, my past recovery plans, my history of needing recovery plans, etc. I prefer to let my readers speculate. So, go ahead and speculate.

While you are speculating, here is my recovery plan:
1) minimize alcohol consumption for a couple of weeks.
2) bike up hills daily.
3) sit in the sun as much as possible.
4) drink a lot of water.
5) take a short nap every day.
6) take iron.
7) work in 30-minute chunks, then take breaks.
8) use the sewing machine, but don't expect to be Mintyfresh in one day.
9) make bed.
10) lie in it.

Re-reading this posting made me want quit blogging, or to write a different kind of blog entirely: a political commentary blog, a mommy blog for cat mommies, a blog for nutcases.

More recovery

I got carried away with the wine-drinking last night, which has resulted in me --
1) having to take a pill and a 2-hour nap today, 2) having to apologize to someone who was trying to talk to me about something serious, which I drunkenly diverted, making it look like I didn't give a shit, and worse, like I was attacking what she was putting forward. And if that wasn't bad enough, when I tried to recover and bring it back to her, I ended up making it all about me!
Needless to say, I am not very pleased with myself today, so am laying low. I am enjoying listening to a group I am just discovering - COCOROSIE. I am reading the latest New Yorker, which is not so great. I am making spagetti. I am feeling the cold, darkness and gravity of fall. Summer's over.

Recovering from

1) my class yesterday in which a New Agey woman was invited as a guest speaker, and, as an exercise, forced us to stare into to the eyes of a partner (another student, a stranger), for 3 minutes while she played a sappy song about love. You are wondering what I am studying? So am I!
2) an ESI Emergency Meeting in which difficult, and groundbreaking stuff was discussed. See minutes posted on ESI blog soon.
3) a late night Facebook "conversation" that reminded me why Facebook is......bad.
4) a cat jumping on my head and sucking my hair in the middle of the night.
5) there is no fifth thing.

Meditation Accessories

The fun part of getting involved with a new religion is the shopping opportunities. There are so many delightful meditation accessories. For example, I have decided I need a magenta zafu, like the one above. I also need a meditation shawl, of course, in a colour that matches the zafu. A mala, one of those funky beaded bracelets would be nice to have, too. I also want a singing bowl because they are just too cool.

Sand-free Zen Gardens

Sand is messy. Sand belongs in litter boxes. A gust of wind can blow sand all over your desk. It can end up in your sandwich. Very unpleasant.

Industrial Walk Along the Lachine Canal, Montreal

Purchased: One Singer Sewing Machine - $50

Yesterday, I went furniture shopping. Even though, I am homeless, I decided that it would be nice to have my own desk, since I am trying to study and be a student. So, I walked into a second-hand place on the Plateau Montreal and immediately saw my machine. My companion pointed out that I had come to find a desk, not a sewing maching, but then I showed him how the machine could be folded down, and easily turned into a desk. In other words, it is two for the price of one!

Now, I am looking for an EASY on-line crazy quilt course. I found this one, but it looks a bit complicated with all the fussy hand stitching. I prefer a quick and dirty approach.

Why are Academics so Damn Wanky?

First of all, apologies to all of you who find the shift from meditation to rant too jarring....
As many of you know, I have gone back to school part-time. Why you ask? To learn. To be a smarter person. I am hoping that my studies don't lead me to become a complete wanker - or more of a wanker than I already am. Today I was particularly struck by how irritating academics are, and what total fucking wankers they are when they write.

For example, in postmod circles now, it is considered good form to situate oneself in the text. Why do I find this so annoying? After all, I blog. Blogging is a very postmodern activity. I situate myself in the centre of a written piece all the time. So, why should this be a problem for me? Here is an example of what I hate. Please help me understand why it annoys me so ... much!

"I identify myself as a White male university professor living and working in the relative ease and comfort of a G8 country. As an anarchist raised in a working-class family I have encountered a certain amount of disrespect and rejection by my intellectual 'superiors', but I know that my own socialization and the racist and patrarchal norms that permeate the academic world make it relatively easy for me to stay in the game. The same goes for my sexuality. Although I find that my desire exceeds the boundaries of mainstream hetersexual practices, I have a long-term female partner and two children -- so again, I mostly pass. All this to say: my struggles with oppression arise mostly from the need to challenge my own racim, heterosexism and classism, and to find more effective ways to be in solidarity with those who experience the debilitating effects of these apparatuses of division every day and night throughout their lives."


Interesting how academics LOVE to exploit the working-class family thing. And, an "anarchist raised in a working-class family" to boot.

This guy is so straight. "My desire exceeds the boundaries of mainstream hetersexual practices." Face it buddy, you're a wanker! Since you are situating yourself here, why not just say the following: "I am a really straight guy who wanks off a lot."

And, the last bit. Holy self-referential wanking! His struggles with oppression arise out of.... his own struggles?

Am I being too hard on this guy? I think I need to get back to the Buddhists.